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...But Would You Walk 600 Miles?
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The second you emerge from the portal, you'll be viciously attacked by three playful imps. You know what to do. |
| It seems you're in some sort of strange mountainous area, with an old-timey tinge to it. Anyway, grab the two treasures and make your way out. |  |
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Wow, it's the same, only different! Like, OMG!! Explore the town if you'd like, then head back to Guardia Forest. There's another Power Tab near where you found the last one. The sparkly just below this one isn't a tab, but triggers a fight. So, if you're some sort of sadist, be sure to examine that one too. |
| Around the middle of the forest, if you examine this bush, you'll scare away a monster who was doing something very private in the bush. He'll leave behind a shelter. You can keep leaving the forest and coming back to get more Shelters, but the psychological trauma you inflict on the poor monster is on your conscience, bub. |  |
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When you reach the castle, you'll be let in by some sort of giggly girl claiming to be the queen. Now whoever could that be? This game didn't make it obvious at all! |
| From the entrance of the castle, head to the right, and into the kitchen. Barge into the kitchen and take the chef's treasure chest while he's distracted making his "Ye Olde Roast Leg of Goat". |  |
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Now head to the throne room in the center of the castle, and climb up the stairs on the left (grabbing the treasure along the way). You'll find a BronzeMail at the top, which is good if you're lazy like me and never bought Crono any new armor. |
| Now return to the throne room and go up the stairs on the right (and again, grab the treasure along the way). Marle will go on to shock absolutely nobody (except apparently Crono, poor kid) by revealing that she's pretending to be the queen. Then plot stuff will happen. Pay attention. |  |
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"Ha ha funny" or "sadomasochistic funny"? |
| When Crono tries to leave the castle and wash his hands of the whole "Queen mysteriously vanishing, forever destroying the entire Guardia dynasty" business, Lucca busts in and explains the "Back to the Future-esque" situation. Then she'll join your party. That's good, right? |  |
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But, since you don't have anything better to do, you might as well get your asses in church, so head west to the cathedral. After talking to the head nun, a sparkly will appear. Examine it, and the nuns will turn into Naga-ettes and attack. So kill them. You can repent later. |
| Some sort of giant amphibian will save you. Like all boys, Crono loves to bring these things everywhere to gross out girls, so you might as well let Frog tag along. |  |
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Upon trying to emulate the "Hot Cross Buns/Chopsticks" scene in "Big", Crono and Frog discover some sort of hidden passage. |
| The first thing you should do in this hidden part of the cathedral is walk to the left just a bit and grab these treasures. Treasures're nice. |  |
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Go north into the large room, then go up the stairs on the right. The far north door has King Guardia, Queen Leene and some soldier guy. Too bad they're just monsters in disguise. Grab the treasures here. |
| Just east of the room with the royal wannabes is a hidden shrine to Magus, a guy you'll encounter soon enough. Grab the treasure here, and have fun fighting your way back to the large foyer. But the treasure is worth it, believe you me. |  |
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Now go down the stairs and up the stairs on the left side of the big room. In the southern door, in addition to the treasure, you can look in this drawer for a secret Naga-ette bromide. Then you can go north, grabbing the chest, then unlocking the door by hitting the skull switch. In this room, you can find another Power Tab. |
| Back to the large room. Now, go downstairs and go north up the middle to the next room. Go up the stairs, then left to this treasure. Now go back right and slide down the far-right staircase. Whee!(?) |  |
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Now go north, and when you reach this switch, hit it. You'll be glad you did. |
| Loop around, then go down on the left. Don't hit this switch unless you like fighting baddies. |  |
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Go up the stairs you reach, then go in the door in the middle to reach this room. It was surrounded by spikes, but since you hit that switch earlier, the spikes are gone. You DID hit that switch earlier, didn't you? Anyway, grab the treasure and jam out on the organ. This will unlock the next door. So go back down the stairs, and head back up north. |
| Now you should keep going up, save at the save point... and OMIGOSH!!! Turns out the evil chancellor ended up being evil! So you'll have to fight him. Have Frog and Crono use X-Slash, and have Lucca do whatever. Heal when necessary, and Yakra doesn't stand a chance. |  |
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After defeating Yakra, don't forget to get the treasure. The "Real" chancellor, who distinguishes himself from the other chancellor by officially having his first name changed to "Real" (not unlike the "Real" Ghostbusters) pops out of one of the chests. Man, if he could fit in that tiny chest, who knows what kinds of other mischief he and his limber body could get into! |
| Back in the castle, Frog has a self-pitying tirade, and runs (hops?) off. Looks like no frog legs for you tonight, Frenchie. |  |
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Go back to where Marle disappeared, and she'll magically reappear again (and proceed to muse existentially for a while), since Crono apparently fixed the space time continuum, and despite all the fake queen stuff that happened, history won't be changed at all. ...Butterfly effect my ass. |
| Take your ladiez back to Truce Canyon, and Lucca will go all sciencey, and explain some time crap. Long story short, you're getting the hell outta Dodge. |  |
Tonic (Truce Canyon Chest)
PowerGlove (Truce Canyon Chest)
Power Tab (Guardia Forest)
Shelter (Guardia Forest Bush)
Ether (Guardia Castle Kitchen Chest)
100 G (Guardia Castle Chest)
BronzeMail (Guardia Castle Chest)
Tonic (Guardia Castle Chest)
Ether (Guardia Castle Chest)
Revive (Cathedral Chest)
Tonic (Cathedral Chest)
100 G (Cathedral Chest)
Ether (Cathedral Chest)
Speed Belt (Cathedral Chest)
Defender (Cathedral Chest)
MaidenSuit (Cathedral Chest)
Tonic (Cathedral Chest)
Ether (Cathedral Chest)
Naga-ette Bromide (Cathedral Drawer)
SteelSaber (Cathedral Chest)
Power Tab (Cathedral)
Heal (Cathedral Chest)
Tonic (Cathedral Chest)
Shelter (Cathedral Chest)
Iron Sword (Cathedral Chest)
Mid Ether (Cathedral Chest)
Chancellor (Cathedral Chest)