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Playable Characters

Sierra Sam - Sam is the main character, and the only character you directly control. His turn-ons include being an environmentalist hippie, being naked, and getting sucked into alternate dimensions.

Assisting Characters

Candy - The 19 year old daughter of the King and Queen of Greene. In battle she can raise Sam's defense, and she also has been known to partake in some S&M activities.

Cup Cake - The 11 year old youngest daughter of the King and Queen of Greene. She's currently deployed in the nation of Sushi, working on Cabbage Head's campaign. In battle, she can raise Sam's attack power.

Lolly Pop - The daughter of Dr. Bromide of Herbal Village, and Springroll's fiance. In battle, she can heal Sam slightly.

Truffle - The 15 year old daughter of the King and Queen of Greene. The family genius, she's in Cinnamon Village searching for Bio-Haz' weakness. In battle, she can lower enemies' attributes.

Citrus - The 16 year old daughter of the King and Queen of Greene. The best fighter in the family, she is a member of an anti-Bio-Haz resistence group outside Macaroni Burg. In battle, she assists Sam by attacking the enemy.

Microwave - An old lady from Torte Village, who has a close relationship with the royal family. In battle, she can cast offensive magic.

Gum Drop - The 18 year old daughter of the King and Queen of Greene. She's currently deployed in the Nation of Soup. In battle, she casts the spell "Block".


Bio-Haz - The evil bad guy. Reportedly, his real name is "Bio-Hazard Harry", but that's stupid, so we'll just call him Bio-Haz. Anyway, the fiend is polluting the pristine kingdom of Greene.

Cabbage Head - Cabbage Head is in the mayorial election of Shiskaburg against Crabby. Can his policy of honesty beat out Crabby's plan to build a happy factory? Only time will tell...

Cadmium - Cadmium is Bio-Haz' right hand man. He likes hanging out in the Nation of Escargot, being evil, and arbitrarily changing his name to "Cavity" whenever he feels like a change.

Calorie - Calorie is the Royal Family's rather heroic pet pooch. His collar seems to have some sort of significance...

Crabby - Crabby is running for the office of mayor in Shiskaburg. But his platform consists mostly of building a happiness factory if elected. Hmmmmm...

Darts - Darts is one of Bio-Haz' agents. He likes to hang out at Crater Lake and poison the water... you know, because he's evil.

Dr. Bromide - Dr. Bromide is the doctor of Herbal Village, and is Lolly Pop's father. He has recently been taken to jail due to his anti-Bio-Haz-ness.

Dust Ball - Dust Ball (and his fighting alter-ego, Thyme) hangs out in a tower in the town of Burger, and generally pollutes the area and does Bio-Haz' bidding.

Fifi - Fifi lives in Pasta Village, and runs the local beauty pageant. He has the unique talent of making a dress out of an apple, a peach and a walnut.

Julien - Julien guards the entrance to Cadmium's Cave in the Nation of Escargot. A formidable opponent, they say his only weakness is the legendary Zap 1 spell.

Junior - Junior is Pint's uniquely named son. He loves his dad and Marcela, and likes to get into mischief.

Kim-Chee Chief - The Chief of the Kim-Chee Tribe in the Nation of Chow Mein. He keeps the Golden Pepper, but aside from Dr. Bromide and his family, he dislikes outsiders.

King Greene - The King of Greene, and an opponent of Bio-Haz and his polluting ways. He supports Sam in his quest to destroy Bio-Haz.

Lickick - Some weird guy who hangs out outside the hot spring in the forest northwest of Caviar Village. I wonder what his motives could be?

Lola Leftover - She used to be a popular singer, but now she spends all her days in the Abandoned Record Factory brooding over her past success.

Lunch Box - Lunch Box is Greene's chief guard, and tends to spend all his time with Time Out...

M.C. - M.C. is the emcee of the beauty pageant in Pasta Village. That's about it...

Mamapuli - Mamapuli is Microwave's daughter, who currently resides in Torte Village, with her husband and two daughters.

Marcela - Marcela is Pint's fiance. Nobody knows where she came from, and she seems awfully refined for a country bumpkin. I wonder who she really is?

Miss Bongole - Miss Bongole is a contestant in Pasta Village's beauty pageant. She is only considered a 4/10.

Miss Carbo - Miss Carbo is another contestant in Pasta Village's beauty pageant. She is fond of saying "bhuheeeen", and is considered a 7/10.

Miss Smith - Miss Smith is another contestant in Pasta Village's beauty pageant. She likes to say "uhuum" and is considered a 7/10.

Nikninja - An evil-type dude. He has currently taken Oasis Castle from the Kim-Chee Tribe, and they're not too happy about it.

Noknight - One of Bio-Haz' followers. He spends his days hanging out in the jail in Bio-Haz' castle.

Noodle - A resident of Won Ton Village, my best guess is that this guy is some sort of kite engineer or something.

Papapuli - Microwave's son-in-law. Lives in Torte Village with his wife and two daughters.

Pappu - A resident of Nutmeg Village and an ally of Truffle. He is concerned about the poisoning of Crater Lake.

Pint - Pint is Marcela's fiance. A kind-hearted man, he is a widower and has a son from his previous marriage.

Professor Condante - An expert of geneaology and a huge Lola Leftover fan, Professor Condante lives in the forest south of Teapot Village.

Pululu - One of Mamapuli and Papapuli's daughters. She's a granddaughter of Microwave.

Pulun - Mamapuli and Papapuli's other daughter. She's also a granddaughter of Microwave.

Queen Greene - The obedient wife of King Greene. Her name rhymes. ...Admit it, it does.

Ralph Vader - A man who lives in an isolated Mountain Village in the Nation of Curry. It is said that he can read people's minds...

Sarg - One of Bio-Haz' minions, Sarg is in charge of law and order in the nation of Chow Mein.

Shrimp - Shrimp is the leader of the resistence group Citrus is a member of. His true motives are unclear...

Springroll - Springroll is Dr. Bromide's buddy, and Lolly Pop's fiance. His favorite thing to do is climb mountains.

Steak - Steak lives in Won Ton Village, and loves to build kites. The kites he builds seldom work, however...

Time Out - Time Out is the administrator of the Royal Family. He likes to hang out with Lunch Box.

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