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Characters

THE GOOD GUYS

Name Pierson
Quote Pip-pip cheerio, old chap! Would you care for a crumpet?
Class Brit
Nationality British
Powers Drinking tea, eating crumpets, wearing monocles and funny hats
Description He's British, people! Give him a hand!

Name BlueMageOne
Quote I was interested in this job, no dames involved, I like that, dames are tricky business and you get sick of dealing with heartbreak time after time. I’m Nick Malone, PI after all, not some tuti fruiti advice columnist.
Class Private eye
Nationality American
Powers Crime-fighting, scotch-drinking, chain-smoking
Description The name is Nick Malone, some say I’m a professional snoop, others say I’m a private eye, but when you take away the formalities I’m the man you go to when you’ve got a problem and the police could care two tics from Tuesday about it. I’m what you call a “cliché’” tan fedora, black tie, suspenders, and a dim lit office that’s perpetually filled with smoke. I keep two magnums on my desk, one’s a gun and I keep it loaded, the other is a bottle and it keeps me loaded. I’m your classic PI, a bastard with a checkered past, and a constant supply of playing cards to skillfully toss into a hat during slow days.

Name Weiila
Quote Taste my heel, dog!
Class Dominatrix
Nationality Swedish
Powers DOMINATION, HEALING, writing, treasure-hunting
Description Where There's a Whip There's a Way
Where There's a Whip There's a Way
Where There's a Whip There's a Way

We don't want to go to war today, but
The Lord of lash says nay, nay, nay
We're gonna march all day, all day, all day
Where There's a Whip There's a Way

Where There's a Whip There's a Way
Where There's a Whip There's a Way
Where There's a Whip There's a Way
Left, right, left, right, left,
Where There's a Whip There's a Way, left, right

The crack on the back says we're going to fight
We're going to march all day and night and more
'cause we are the slaves of the dark Lord Zor
Left, right, Left, right, Left, right, Left, right,. . .

THE BAD GUYS

Name Booken
Quote RO rocks!
Class Furry
Nationality Canada
Powers Sucking, yiffing, playing korean videogames with welfare money
Description Unlike child molesters, furries aren't hurting anyone or anything beyond maybe their parent's dignity, so why should we care? Because, furries are perhaps the best example of the uniting power of the Internet gone wrong. Composed almost to a person of outsiders, nerds, and the generally disenfranchised, furries went from a sort of dorky support group to a hardcore, aggressive, and somewhat abrasive sexual identifier in a matter of a few years. IRC rooms, websites, and even the presence of furries in various more normal Internet locales have attracted those who have difficulty finding their place in this world. There can be no convincing argument made that their lifestyle is genetic, necessary, or anything but forced. They have latched onto the lifestyle purely out of desperation and a need for acceptance.



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