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Well, we were supposed to have a special interview with everybody here, but an "incident" occurred in the Mamiya interview...and to make a long story short...they all left. But I have something better! An interview with an actual log from the lake near the haunted mansion! So, talk to us, log!

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So you're saying that there are other characters too?

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Takashi, Etsuko, Shogo, and Kenji explored it first and left helpful notes? Despite the fact their attempt at escaping was in vain?

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...You know what, this isn't working...I'm going to have to let you go...

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Don't be so hard on yourself...it's not your fault. Some people have it, some people don't. And you, my friend, do not have it.

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...Boring...I wish everybody wouldn't have left me. I was planning a big interview with everybody, and instead I've got a sexual harassment lawsuit against me...Hey a dress!

I'll just take that dress...it might look good on me...

Hello? Where'd everybody go? Are you done talking about me yet?

(Aha! Mamiya! She didn't witness the "incident", so she never left!) Oh hi Mamiya! Things kind of hit a skid when I got a sexual harassment suit slapped on me, and everybody left! But I see you're still here!

Sexual harassment? ...Wait a second...is that my dress?

Uh...

Better make that two lawsuits, cause I'm calling my lawyer, you pervert!

That didn't sound too good...and I'm all alone again...

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This is all your fault log!

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...Oh...how could I stay mad at you! After all, you roll downstairs alone or in pairs, and roll over my neighbor's dog. You're great for a snack, and you fit on my back, you're Log, Log, Log!

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*talking on phone* What's that sir? Copyright infringement? But how was I supposed to know that was a song on Ren & Stimpy? Uh-huh...ignorance isn't an excuse? Well, I thought I'd have learned that by now...uh-huh...What's that? You'll see me in court? No, I don't have that much to pay for a cash settlement...Can I pay you in fish? I can't...But I already have two other lawsuits...uh-huh...Oh, you don't care? Well, thanks for your call...uh-huh...bye. *click*

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I hate my life...

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