Asuka

Ok everybody except Asuka, let's talk about Asuka!

Ugh...do we have to?

Yes, we ARE under contract to talk about Asuka.

That sucks...

It could be worse. You could be an Eskimo wearing a blue parka.

There's nothing wrong with wearing blue!

Yes there is! How's he supposed to stalk his prey while he's wearing a bright, stupid-looking, blue parka?

I don't know? Maybe where he lives the ground's blue?

Nah, he comes from Ice Climber. The ice looks blue, but that's only because Ice Climber's palette is so pathetically weak. I think the blue is sexy, don't you schnookums?

I'm flattered, but I don't, and you're dead, so I think I'll keep my distance, and once again, I'd urge you to talk about Asuka, and not about me (despite how irresistible I am)

Asuka? She wasn't even originally going to be part of the expedition, but she kept on saying that maybe the house would be dirty, so she just grabbed a vacuum and tagged along. In retrospect, I guess it's a good thing she came along, but she sure was annoying.

Totally. She always goes on about how much woman rights are on the rise and this and that, but she comes along bringing a vacuum! How stereotypical is that?

But that vacuum was useful in cleaning up shards of glass and dirty frescoes!

What we talking about? Vacuum!? We not needed! We should've jumped over glass! Or stepped carefully around it! Or we could've walked over it! We had shoes!

But...

And the frescoes! We could use our shirts to clean! We wipe clean with shirts!

The point is: you guys didn't! So quit yer bickering, and shut up

My sentiments exactly. Mamiya, you sure know how to take charge!

Anyway, about Asuka. I know she may seem a little bit over bearing. A little annoying. A bit clingy. A bit obsessive. A little stereotypical. And a bunch of other adjectives I can't think of at the moment, but the point is: she helped us.

She never helped me. I died so many times trying to help you, and she never once helped me...

Ya crazy old coot. This ain't about you!

...

Just remember: Asuka is a woman, and she likes to vacuum up stuff too. She's also pretty good in the kitchen (if ya know what I mean!)

Actually, I don't

Neither does he

That may be true, but the point is: she was a vital part of our quest to stop Mamiya from killing us!

...

...Whatever...